updates:

-soylent green is only 14 years away

-the head teacher was fired... er... i mean he "quit"

-our office is effectively a snowglobe, once us snowflakes settle into confort, we gotta be shaken up. so we recently changed seating in the office again.

- billkapoun.com when i saw this website i was deeply affected. it was the first time i've donated to anything online. i realized how easy something like that could happen to any of us.

-facebook is popular

-i've started interviewing foreigners over here. i'm going to compile their perspectives on korea

-i wanted to do a korean photo scavenger hunt, but i got almost zero interest

-i'm inconsistent at putting periods at the end of sentences

-i yell at students for not putting periods at the end.

-i saw "yell" figuratively.

i'm not sure exactly what's going through their minds, but i'm sure they've mistaken the bus for a sports car. these bus drivers honestly swerve in and out of traffic more than i ever did with the honda accord i drove. i'm constantly amazed.

actually, i've never had car sickness until i start riding the bus here. i'm almost positive that they need change the bus brakes every 500 kilometers. they stop at every bus stop as if at the very last second they realized they actually need to stop there. and if you are not looking directly at the bus you want on, the bus driver will drive away faster than you can turn your head. either that, or he won't even stop. i've had it happen where i was just looking in my wallet for the right change, and the bus was gone as soon as it stopped. now, whenever i want the bus, i am overly emphatic about showing that i want on that particular bus.

i think they have a stop watch at the bus starting point, and they are always trying to get the best record.

i won't even tell you about the taxi drivers.

i have a lot to say. i'll divide it into 3 sections. Three's seem to be pretty numbers. For example, I think 3 times is the minimum for something to be a trend.

anyway...
Chinese New Year!
A friend and I went to Busan, the 2nd biggest city in Korea, and right at the south end of the country.

we started out here in the "present situation".

we walked down the busy side alley...
and met up with a friend...after the first night of staying up too late. we were both exhausted the next day. Chase, the guy on the left was a little more tired because he got really drunk and couldn't find the motel for most of the night. the next day was great in the most penultimate of relaxing days.

we went to the aquarium and watched fish. became hypnotized by fish floating in the simple life. i wanted to be a fish for that moment. this sluggish day continued to a buffet, which then led to the pinnacle of relaxation: a Jimjil bang. basically a sauna. we took an elevator to a floor of all naked men sitting in hot tubs, or lying in saunas. then we could take the elevator up one floor after we put some pajama type clothes on. this area was a communal area. chase discovered how easy it is to accidentally go to the wrong floor. he stepped out on the naked lady floor and was quickly rushed back in the elevator. i guess koreans have the system figured out though.

later that night we walked around to the bars to waste time until our train home. and we met this drunk uzbekistan guy who bought us drinks and danced with us. i had to talk to him in korean since he didn't know english. he was hilarious.


SECTION 2...
Valentines day.

I have had a valentines tradition for about 5 years now. Each Valentines Day I play guitar and sing songs to strangers. and this year was no different. These are the receptionists at my school. I don't really know them.
my 5 song selection was:
1. Blue Rodeo - lost together
2. Stand by me - Ben E. King
3. Falling Slowly - Glen Hassard
4. All I want is you - U2
and of course...
5. Hero - Enrique Iglasius

I sang to in this order...
-the convenience store on my corner - (all i want is you)
-the coffee shop lady at my favorite coffee shop - (stand by me)
-the girls at my favourite sandwich shop - (lost together)
-the girl at the bakery - (Hero)
-the girls in the cosmetics area at the department store - (falling slowly)
-the girls at my school's reception area - (lost together)
-another convenience store - (hero)
-almost a girl at the street corner - (almost all i want is you)
-some girls at baskin robbins - (falling slowly)
-a girl at a hair salon (lost together)
-the teachers i work with (hero, falling slowly, lost together)
-and then i just sang as i walked around (i made up some songs, i also sang glycerine by bush)

i hope i can put the video of it on here some time.

what i noticed is that most koreans have such an idea about propriety that even when something as odd as a foreigner singing and playing songs while walking around is there, they will try hard not to look at it. or maybe they really didn't think it was that odd.


SECTION 3...

work is good. but the new schedule has thrown me off-cantor. but i will be back on track in a week. strange fluctuations at work have it that 4 people are leaving at the end of this month all of which before the end of their contract. the head foreign teacher is supposedly being fired for starting a rumor that may or may not be true about the manager. two korean teachers are taking off for australia. another foreign teacher is leaving because he's grumpy. i don't know the details. and i have heard that several others may be going. it's a good place to work i think as long as you aren't involved in the politics. although, there is an option for me that i may be offered head foreign teacher position. interesting prospects. who knows...

that's all for now.

It's chinese new year here. So i think this is still semi-appropriate.

there are stages of cultural acclimation. people say it's at about the 3 month mark that you really feel the homesickness. i forget the other stages. let's just imagine there's the sad stage, and mad stage, and glad stage, etc.

anyway, i've reached the point where i just don't feel like eating any korean food. it's kinda funny. i used to try it out and enjoy it, but now i just want burritos, and pizza and pasta, and sandwiches, and no korean food. i still eat it sometimes. maybe in a month i'll be different. i'm not homesick, i just don't want the food.

tips on writing to someone that has english as a second language.

1.cut out unnecessary colloquial grammar.
-so no: "check it out man, i was hitting up mickie d's, and some dude standing in line reeked like a mofo"
2.use words that have obvious dictionary definitions
-so no: "i'd tap that."
3. keep it simple.
4. spell words right.

now i just wish some koreans would follow these rules when writing in korean to me.

funny anecdote. i met a korean the other day and i told her my name was malcolm. and i spelled my name in korean. the problem is that the one korean letter called rieul can be transliterated as an "r" or an "l". so when this korean wrote to me in english she called me marcolm. so i wrote back in korean and said, no it's malcolm. but my korean is terrible, and she thought i meant marcolm is right and malcolm is wrong. so she's called me marcolm several more times since.

anyway, it's actually kinda interesting learning a new language because you get to feel like a kid again. i even get told often that when i write in the korean script it looks like a little kids writing.

koreans seem to be less concerned about bathroom proprieties. i think it's hilarious when i see some of the students during the break trying to go to the washroom. the boys are crowded in the washroom, the door isn't even closed. they don't care. and the kid at the front taking a pee is being shoved from behind by the boy waiting. i couldn't imagine being jostled while peeing, but there's no problem with that here. i don't think it happens when you're older, but i could be wrong.

other notes:
i should never play poker. 7 of us played, i was out of money before the end of the first round. luckily it was only $10.

people are easy to meet, hard to keep. what i mean is that i meet so many people, and get some numbers, but then the next day when i ask if they want to go to coffee the usually give an excuse. the best one so far is that "i'm afraid of english". i thanked them for their honesty.

holidays are coming this week. i forgot to buy tickets to go someone far away, so i'm just going to the south of korea, the 2nd biggest city in korea. busan. maybe later i'll go to the phillipines. speaking of which, why is the phillipines one of those places that need "the" in front of it?

lastly, i'm planning to make a video soon. if i do it, then i'll post it here.

the secret to not being tickled is to pretend that it is you doing that to yourself. being unticklish is a sign of comfort. that's why you're usually not ticklish with a masseuse because the very idea of it is to be comfortable.

so i went to a coffee shop called dr.fish on the weekend. most things seemed fairly normal about this coffee shop, albeit the atmosphere and coffee were awesome. the one thing unusual though were bath tub style fish tanks that were level with the floor. in the tanks of course were the dr.fish. apparently this particular type of fish nibbles at dead skin on your feet. and for a couple bucks those feet could be yours.

i sat with my feet in the bathtub fishtanks imagining in my mind that the 100 or so fish nibbling at my feet were actually my own hands somehow poking them in a thousand different places, and that it was not many tiny fish enjoying my smelly foot supper. it was probably the worst self-inflicted tickling i've had. but i kinda enjoyed it once i got used to it. i felt loved. and actually it kinda felt like when your foot falls asleep, except without your foot being asleep.

anyway, now i need to find a date that would like to go to dr.fish with me sometime.

i think it's funny in class when the question asked returns the response "poo".

but they don't say poo in english, they say it in korean. which of course requires a translation.

now ask a cute little korean girl a translation for poo and watch as she clenches her teeth and pretends to make a pushing sound. it's hilarious.

by the way, the question asked was: what would be the worst animal to have for a pet?

various stories...

i was on the bus and i was talking to a lady. her english was very broken, but like i said, i've come to appreciate that. it's endearing when they still try to talk to you. at one point she said to me:
"can I ask you a personal question?"
i thought " there isn't possibly a question you'd be be willing to ask me that is too personal" so I said "yes".
She said "are you happy with how much money you make?"
I said "why?" usually when they ask that it's because they have a job proposition.
Finally, after much struggling with language I understood what she was suggesting. she said that another english teacher told her about his job, which was similar to my except that he had to go work at many different schools. basically it is an on call english teacher job.
she told me this with amazement that i can make a lot of money doing this even more than she makes. so i said how much. she confidently wrote with her finger on a wall a number that she assumed would impress me. i quickly realized her error, and i felt very bad for her. she wrote 2,000,000 won on the wall. and i tried to say in a humble way, i make more than that. incredulous, she asked how long do you work. i said 7 hours a day. even more incredulous she asked if i work on the weekends. i said no. she was in a stupor. i tried to be humble but clearly not enough. the thing is, in korea, english teachers make a lot more than their korean counterparts. also they work a lot less, and their apartments are paid for. i try not to tell any koreans how much i make because they'll probably be jealous, and resent foreigners. it's amazing, we have such an easy job and we can make really decent money. the only drawback is that we are far from friends or family.

i have another interesting story, but this is already too long. i've gotten into a habit of writing really long notes.

PICKLE DAY

today was pickle day for my one class. what is pickle day? pickle day is when the pizza shop gives you a mini tub of sweet pickles with every pizza you order. then you collect those pickles in your fridge for the nearly 4 months you've been living there because you don't like sweet pickles. the next step is finding out that all the students like pickles. so you bring your 15 tubs of pickles into the class and announce pickle day.

the best part is when some kids realize there's an expiration date on the pickles, and most of them are expired. kids are so smart these days.

YAY PICKLE DAY

i haven't written here in a long time, and i have a lot to say. but this time i'll keep it simple. i just thought i'd show something i've come to appreciate here in korea. effort. maybe not accuracy, but effort.

so i signed up for language exchange online, and this girl started writing to me. here is what i said to her at one point:

"you are trying very hard to learn english. i like that. many people
don't want to try. we can meet someday. i'll try to help your english.
anyway, right now, i'm very tired. i need sleep."

and this is her reply:

"Oh malcolm you need the rest, i think. this time many people want to learn English always, so you should break a leg your work becasue you're a teacher. as you do that, many students follow your instuction to get the high ability. Cheer up :D until we meet someday, i'll be trying to study all my exertion! then malcolm teacher, get the enough rest time :D
Take care from snowy weather!"

i thought this reply was really cute.

so this is the korean underground. i went to a show on saturday night and saw these guys. it was kinda a strange run in. i went to the middle of seoul with a dead cell phone and no plan. i ran into a friend that lives in the same building, and we ended up seeing this show. it's amazing how a live show can make some guys sound a million times better. the lead singer was awesome, he looked high the whole show, but he wasn't because koreans don't do that.

anyway, this video is awesome in it's amateurish-ness. i especially love when they get kicked out of no where by a lady-cop because they we're doing... actually not too much. really badass.

I was reading about some hush hush government stuff. interesting.

1940 - Four hundred prisoners in Chicago are infected with Malaria in order to study the effects of new and experimental drugs to combat the disease. Nazi doctors later on trial at Nuremberg cite this American study to defend their own actions during the Holocaust.

1950 - Department of Defense begins plans to detonate nuclear weapons in desert areas and monitor downwind residents for medical problems and mortality rates.

1956 - U.S. military releases mosquitoes infected with Yellow Fever over Savannah, Ga and Avon Park, Fl. Following each test, Army agents posing as public health officials test victims for effects.

read more...


This is also interesting...

A CIA document dated 10 Feb 1954 [4] describes an experiment on the creation of unsuspecting assassins: “Miss [whited out] was instructed (having expressed a fear of firearms) that she would use every method at her disposal to awaken Miss [whited out] (now in a deep hypnotic sleep). Failing this, she would pick up a pistol and fire it at Miss [whited out]. She was instructed that she would not hesitate to “kill” [whited out]. Miss [whited out] carried out these suggestions including firing the (unloaded) gun at [whited out] and then proceeded to fall into a deep sleep. After proper suggestions were made, both were awakened. Miss [whited out] expressed absolute denial that the foregoing sequence had happened.” BB 36, 37

the Stimoceiver; a miniature electrode placed within an individual’s cranium capable of receiving and transmitting electronic signals. Delgado was able to control the movements of his subjects by pushing buttons on a remote transmitter. He demonstrated his Stimoceivers by wiring a fully-grown bull. With the device in place, Delgado stepped into the ring with the bull. The animal charged towards the experimenter – and then suddenly stopped, just before it reached him. The powerful beast had been stopped with the simple action of pushing a button on a small box held in Delgado’s hand.

read more...

I'm reading this stuff as a bit of research for my comic. I know, this sounds like I'm writing another story of a secret organization doing illegal experiments on people. well, yes... kinda. but i swear this is a little different. i won't bother explaining, but i will say that so many stories are essential the same template, it's all about how they're handled that makes them good. speaking of good, and speaking of research, i'm also reading "Y, the last man" right now. a comic about a plague that strikes the entire world, that instantly kills every male on the planet except one man. read the first issue here(pdf).

I really wish this guy made it to the NBA. Actually I really wish this guy was as good and popular as LeBron James. It'd be hilarious hearing a stadium chant his name.

http://espn.go.com/nba/news/2002/0711/1404719.html

I was thinking of finding a random person on facebook, and poking them. then when they go to my pictures to see if they know me, there will be a picture of them with my face digitally imposed beside theirs.

distracted.

i spent the last couple days watching every episode of "heroes" go here: www.tv-links.co.uk
I've warned you though. it will consume you until you're caught up to the current episode. there are about 24, 43 minute episodes right now, and two 50 minute episodes. which if i do the math that means... 1132 minutes. and that means: over 19 hours. all math done in my head, i could be wrong.

anyway, i'm all caught up. and there are several ramifications.
1. my sleep has been thoroughly screwed up. which means that my functionality at work was turned down a notch. i think mostly my memory was affected by lack of sleep.

2. my attention has been diverted. formerly i really wanted to complete my story about korea. now i keep thinking about fixing up my own comic story.

3. i've thought about superpowers, and in a slightly contrived way i've motivated myself. i have wrote the words "you want your superpower for you to be constantly motivated". then i pinned these words on a board in my room. i'm basically suggesting to myself that the powers i want don't need unreal abilities.


you gotta admit though, a story that can actually stimilate you is pretty good.

The sad state of the Korean exchange rate. See that jagged line that looks like a blue outline of a mountain; that is the one year projection of what converting Korean Won into Canadian Dollars looks like. The lower the line dips, the less Canadian money I get for sending Korean money that way. As you can see at the moment, and starting since the moment of january this year, that line has been plummeting like Newton's law. What this means is, if I sent home 5,000,000won (approx. $5000) which is a realistic lump sum I may send, at the current exchange I will get $5,448.47CAD. But if I was able to send the same amount at the peak of exchange(in January), I would get about $6050.00. that's a difference of $601.53. It's absolutely annoying. I've been waiting months for the exchange to start increasing, but it just keeps going down. I think I'll just need to wait a little bit longer. I've found a 5 year plodding of the exchange rate:
It seems that this so far presents itself as a cycle; and every January the rates become much much better. So I'll wait, and hope that there's currently enough money in my bank account in Canada to hold off my monthly student loan payment until then. gah.

I just found this statistic about the average anual working hours of selected countries. and this explains a lot about koreans. and i feel even worse for them. it isn't just perception that they're working way too much. they're statistically working way too much.