Money

It’s amazing how easily you can confuse money in a different country. I saw a homeless man on Saturday. It clicked in my head that I really should give him something. My heart goes out to most homeless because of where circumstance has brought them. I could just as easily be there with a slightly altered disposition, and some bad luck. And on top of an abysmal financial state, dignity is taken from them as well. Anyway, so I went to give the guy 2000 won which is equivalent to about 2 bucks. After I put it in, I noticed that my money was a different colour than the other money in his bin. And then I realized that I actually put 20000 won in. and I feel really bad, but I had to switch the money with the intended amount. I know, you don’t need to chastise me anymore than I will chastise myself.

Later I went to this place called I Park. It’s one giant electronics place with tons of different vendors that you can haggle for a price. I found a music vendor in it and I realized I needed a guitar strap so I asked the guy for one, and he said 5000 won. So to get in the mood of haggling I said 4000. and he laughed at me and said ok. I assume he laughed at me because you usually don’t haggle for the little things.

Finally, after a little research I realized I could probably get the internet from my apartment if I just boosted my signal. And this one site on the internet taught me how. I just needed a USB wifi connector. So I found one for 20000 won. The word for this in Korean is ‘ EE MAHN’ . I wanted it for 15000 though, which is ‘MAHN O CHON’ . However I said, ‘O MAHN’ accidentally. So as he said 20000, it sounded like I was bargaining to have it 50000, not 15000. In the end I got it for 18000. And I’m extremely annoyed because it didn’t come with the startup CD that it was supposed to have. So I need to figure out how to make it work without it. Gah.

Other events: I hosted a surprise going away party for Danny(or Myungho, his Korean name). All of us crammed into my apartment, and played some games and stuff. I put my bed against the wall to make more space, and we stole a whole bagful of balloons from work. Danny’s going to Japan now to improve his Japanese. He also has a book deal to write a book about how to make Western friends as a Korean. It sounds kinda funny that this is the book topic, but actually it’s a very valuable subject for some Koreans. If they make Western friends then it’s like a free English lesson. Most Westerners are wary of Koreans being too nice to them, and wanting to be their friend, because most of the time it is simply to improve English. Then there’s a number of westerners that don’t mind because they use the Korean ladies for something else(I don’t think I need to say what). It’s kinda terrible how the system works, and also I noticed that some Korean girls English is still limited. Like the one time I asked one if she wanted some chips, and she said ‘yes yes, that feels good’.

I played guitar at church. And I even got to introduce a song from my home church. It was awesome. And since no one else knew, I just had to belt it out. And then they got me to play it again during offering. So I’ll play it again next week, and then the week after I’ll introduce another song. Maybe by the time I leave I’ll have converted the entire playlist to freedomize songs, and then it will be just like I’m back home… except I’d be at the front instead of singing in the audience. And the coolest thing! I asked someone there to buy me some peanut butter from Costco. And he did. And now I have a huge tub of peanut butter. Except the funny thing was that I left the tub in a room while I went to do something, and someone took off with it. So we figured out who it was, and we chased them done in the car, and tada, I got peanut butter again.

That was my weekend.

this past weekend i went to a palace. the one that the korean alphabet was invented. it wasn't nearly as big as it once was, because warring nations love burning down buildings. but it was still big. apparentally the king at the time noticed that japan wasn't attacking china because they had such big palaces, so this korean king decided to make his palace big too. ya, that didn't work.

the best part of the palace grounds was all the senescent trees. all their limbs were propped up by these metal crutches. it looked really funny.

we also saw a museum and some traditional korean dance. both of which were as boring as you'd expect, but i guess they stilled carried a bit of charm considering they represented the culture.

sadly my camera's batteries died just as i got there, so i don't have any pictures. however i'm gonna steal a bunch from brooke and michelle.

this year is the year of the golden pig. it happens only 3 times a century. everyone buys a golden pig piggy bank, the bigger the better. it's supposed to symbolize financial luck.

here's mine:

based on the size, i'm not counting on too much financial luck. i learned from the museum that this oriental tradition is where the piggy bank came from. it cause pigs had such large litters of piglets and this meant good fortune, and plentitude that they translated into meaning wealth. but i guess pigs would've been a form of currency way back then.

i also had to get some pictures for my work visa the other day. the guy actually photoshopped my face right in front of me. actually it wasn't a bad thing, because i wasn't looking great that day anyway. but i noticed that he kept he kept lightening my skin tone. really white is either an ideal here, or that's just how they view us westerners. the guy also tweaked my face so that i'm smiling more, and he fixed my hair a bit.

finally, i'd just like say, koreans have some pretty awesome entertainment. check it out, you can ride this guy. i'm really not sure what the goal of it is, and now i'll never find out because they took him away just the other day.

i made a list of things to do and/or get the other day.

-calculator

-stamp

-groceries

-basketball

-glue+string

-art design

-journals

-sit-ups

-call home

-headset

-nunchucks

-clean

-learn song

-laundry

-fill out instant games

-read

i showed someone the list and they asked about the nunchucks and the string and glue.

i said that the string and glue were for my antlers. because i was redecorating. i think it's best to use visuals for this.
...and just for the heck of it, here's my stolen chairs. they're so nice. i rarely sit on them though. oh, and the other stuff are my other decorations.

profile#7

Wow, I just keep putting off talking about andrea. The last person I need to write about. Andrea lives in room 647 which coincidentally is an area code in Toronto. It’s easy to remember. I’ve needed to know her room number on occasion cause she’s my church buddy. Her father is actually a pastor, but don’t paint a stereotyped picture of her. She’s not like you think. I’ve actually seen her kill a man with her bare hands because he looked at her cock-eyed. I imagine that expression originated from old-time roosters that had lasers in their eyes, and when they looked at you it really annoyed you just like those laser pointers are annoying at movie theatres. She hasn’t given me the what-to yet. Anyway, she usually walks at a leisurely pace after work, probably because after-work symbolizes relaxation. But the other day she took the stairs instead of the escalator down to the subway station, and she beat all our asses(or for euphemistic joy: bums).

Andrea has probably had the most annoying initial living circumstance out of all of us. Her toilet was clogged. It remained clogged for at least a couple weeks. In fact it might still be clogged. She’s had to use the building’s public toilet. Ugh.

It was michelle’s birthday on Saturday. She’s 28 now. the scary thing is that that doesn’t sound old anymore. Not that 28 should be old, but you know what I mean. It’s one of those small acknowledgements to yourself that you are also getting older. And the world around you is a grown up world now, as much as you try to do stupid things to retain a grasp onto some semblance of adolescent vitality. It’s similar to the transition kids undergo upon entering highschool. They still like their lego and Barbie dolls, but lego and Barbie dolls just aren’t cool in highschool. So these grade 9 kids have a mini-battle in their heads between liking something, and telling themselves they’re not allowed to like that something anymore. And that is the essence of transition stages in life. I may or may not be going through a transition stage in my life. Actually, I know I’m going through a transition stage. But I don’t know if I can specifically characterize what I don’t want to allow myself to like anymore, even though I still like it. Or maybe I just don’t want to admit it in this semi-public space called blogging.

But all of this is wayyyy off track, and for some reason I allowed myself to wander. Right, so it was michelle’s birthday. A bunch of us went to a club in Seoul that mostly caters to wiguks(this means foreigners, such as myself). I didn’t like it. I don’t really like clubs, but I didn’t mind dancing that night. If I go to things such as clubs rarely enough, than I’m fine with them. The reason I didn’t like it was because it felt strange being around so many wiguks. I don’t know how to explain it exactly. I think maybe it’s that korean’s behaviour is more predictable and more polite, and less showy, and less ‘look-at-me’. And maybe it’s just that you adapt to where you are, and when there’s so many foreigners around you don’t feel like you are in that place you adapted to.

But again, I’m off track. My whole intention was to talk about karma police. This guy told me that he didn’t pay enough upon exiting the subway(I don’t feel like explaining how the transit works right now), and so the subway security came over to him. When they saw that he was a foreigner that didn’t understand Korean, they just said forget it, and walked away. So on our way to the club, I hopped the turnstile into the subway, and of course no one stopped me. And I thought I was genius, or badass, or something. Later that night when we left the club, we had to take a cab home because the subway was done for the night. Now here’s the tricky thing none of us noticed, the cab driver didn’t put a meter on. When he dropped us off he charged us $40(except in Korean of course). None of had taken a cab before, so we begrudgingly paid it, not knowing if it was a typical price or not. We found out the next day that it should only cost $20. so anyway, the karma police found me, and made me pay for cheating the subway.

I guess I should also watch my back, because I took a couple of chairs from a restaurant/café patio that night… and a milk crate too.

Almost Profile #7So I was gonna write about this girl from alabama today. But she just quit. this a picture of her walking out the door on her last day. i won't take up any more time talking about her since she isn't even a coworker anymore.

instead i'll mention some fun korean stuff.

1. most double doors in korea swing both ways, but the label on the handle always says pull. and also one of the two doors is usually always locked for some reason.

2. i saw a whole kitchen crew at a restaurant line up and give each other massages at the same time. apparently koreans sometimes pump themselves up before they start work.

3. this is awesome:
it's a cup that has chicken nuggets at the top, and your drink at the bottom. the guy doesn't actually serve this, but he still keeps the picture up for some reason.

So I’ve been blogging about my coworkers. And there’s 3 left to write about, but I don’t have pictures of them right now.

So I’ll refer to my notes.

Work 7days…

Koreans work very hard. Like 7 days a week hard. That’s why you see a lot of them falling asleep on the subway(sometimes on your shoulder. Gah.) I read that one thing to do to combat culture shock is to become a regular at some place. And it works extra good with these 7day a week Koreans. Sometimes they’re the only one that works at a particular place, and so you’ll only see them if you go there all the time. I have 2 regular spots so far. I’m working on 3, maybe 4. one spot is a pizza place, and one spot is a taco place. And at both spots I think it’s only one person that works at either.

Dukboki

(pronounced: duck-bo-key)

This is the food served at my third spot I’m working on becoming a regular. It’s this chewy pasta type stuff served in a spicy red sauce. It tastes really good, and it’s really spicy even when you tell them only a little spicy. And sometimes the two girls that work at the place laugh at you while your nose is running, and you get the hiccups because it’s hot. And sometimes they bring you a glass of pineapple flavoured milk because they think you’re funny. Actually I’ve only been to this place once. But like I said, I’m gonna work on making it a regular place.

Residence…

This is soooo much like residence in university. It’s awesome. The size of my place isn’t that much bigger either except with the addition of a bathroom and a small kitchen area. Also, I don’t have tv or internet in my room, just like when I was in res. And also there’s a number of other teachers also in the building that I can call on, just like res. And also I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s almost useless eating at home because I’ve went grocery shopping a number of times, and I’ve still barely found anything quick, and substantial to eat. Besides which, eating out is cheap.

Long end to words…

A peculiarity to Korean speech is that it’s considered friendlier if you extend the last part of your words. For example, thank you, would be like ‘thank youuuuu’. Everyone does it.

No F, No Sh, No V…

There’s no f sound or sh sound, or v sound in the Korean alphabet. So it would be ‘puck you, you sit head, you have a bagina’. Also, there’s a number of letters that aren’t distinctly pronounced as one particular English letter. For example, there is a letter that is a cross between a ‘g’ and a ‘k’. one letter is a cross between a ‘p’ and a ‘b’. one letter is a cross between a ‘ch’ and a ‘j’. one letter is a cross between a ‘t’ and a ‘d’, and one letter is a cross between a ‘r’ and a ‘l’. there was one Korean that went by the name ‘landy’ for 4 years. Then some westerner asked how’d he choose that name, and he said it was his favourite baseball player. Landy Johnson.

DVD Bong…

Bong means room. You go to one of these to watch movies in your own private screening. I went to one tonight, and it was pretty neat. There was a couch/bed thing we laid on and watched the brothers grimm on a movie projector. I could imagine that those rooms are serious make out rooms though….or worse.

No correction food…

If there is a mess up on your food, don’t expect them to really fix it, they don’t like wasting the food, or time. For example, I got bacon bits on a baked potato so I sent it back. They clearly just scraped off the bits and brought it back. There was still a whole bunch of bacon bits around the potato.

Korean kid ass gun…

Bratty Korean kids think that putting their hands together in the shape of a gun, and trying to shove the thumb part up your bum is funny. For some reason it’s ok to do that as long as your hands are in the shape of a gun.

Advertising…

Maybe it’s because they don’t tape flyers on polls that instead they just drive down the street throwing loads of paper advertisements on the ground. I’ve also seen cars with giant blow-up tubes slightly blocking traffic to advertise. I also like the cars driving around with loud speakers. And my personal favourite is the 50 flyers taped to my door every time I get home. No wait, I got an even better favourite. There’s this dude that yells out constantly something in Korean(probably ____ for sale). I can hear it for several blocks and he reminds me of a drunk dude I saw during frosh week at york. Winter’s college at york would go around to all the other residences at 2am during frosh week and just sing them songs. The one time there was a drunk dude that followed them and just started chanting by himself, HEY-OOOO, WINTER’S BLOWS NUTS!!! And so winter’s college adopted this as their own song they sang all the time. Anyway, the advertising dude sounds like the drunk dude.

Ice cream…

Koreans like ice cream year round. I walked by a baskin robbins last night when it was still very cold out, and the shop was full with people.

Ok, that’s enough(or more than enough for now)

If I could just catch it, just hold it like a fly in my hand. Maybe then I could crush it or smother it or swallow down. I could face everything if it were in its right place. square my corners, seal my box with tape. But no reflex can be conditioned to lose any inconvenient moment. No flavour wanders too far when it’s left to ferment for so long. Like wine, the good is the bad all rolled into one. It’s an acquired taste that I’ve never reasoned out. But the flies seem to like it enough to drift around.

Profile#6This is Chantel, and Jon, and waterjug. They're the couple...except for the waterjug, he's only around for the 'riding the bucking bronco' game. see how jon stares at chantel lovingly. and see how chantel is distracted by a puppet show with pink bunnies on LSD's. jon proposed to chantel earlier this year... no wait. i don't know when he proposed. and i don't really remember how. and neither of them are around to help me out. but apparently they like each other enough to do this crazy couple adventure of teacher together in korea. neat. they're both from ottawa. jon really likes the montreal canadiens. chantel likes artsy stuff, like theatre. it's a wonderful stereotype. the sports loving guy, the cultured girl. they're nice people though. not that they wouldn't be because they like sports and/or theatre.

jon and chantel live in a different building than me. so we don't hang out that much outside of work. actually, that's a funny notion, because i don't really call on the people that live in my building all that much. i called on rebecca last night, because i wanted her to tell me how to make this korean food i brought. of course, i still screwed it up. but as a constellation, she lent me some spongebob dvds. yes, i wrote constellation, not consolation. i think it's funnier this way. MAN! could you imagine a spongebob dvds constellation!!!

jon just came in the room a second ago. i said i was writing about him and chantel. he pretended he was saying what i was writing, 'i give them a week'. man, he's such a funny guy. CRAZY. yes, i'm yelling. imaginary yelling.

Profile#5


This is Daniel. He's not really as badass as he looks in this picture. And Daniel isn't his given name. He adopted the name as his english moniker because he was in the American military in Korea, and he had a friend named Daniel. He's never lived in an english speaking country, but his english is really quite good, and his japanese is alright too, although i suppose i wouldn't be able to tell. He sometimes uses english slang, and it's really funny. i use danny a bunch. translate this, translate that, paint my bedroom... ok, i don't ask him that. my bedroom has wallpaper on it. He taught me the korean slang, shi gin ee day. it's sounds like begin a day, and it means it kills. you say it when something is awesome, like a hot girl, or some cock fighting. hmmm, i wonder if there is any cock fighting around. Danny is in my group for groupwork. On the side he privately tutors japanese girls, but i'm still doubtful about the tutoring part. he asked me if i wanted to chill with him and his ladies one weekend, but i had other plans, and like i said, i'm not sure about what he calls 'tutoring'. i wouldn't actually be tutoring though if that's what it was, because i'm legally not allowed.

Danny is taking off for japan in a month to live there for a year. it'll be sad times, but i guess to be honest time never stops and we are constantly moving on somewhere. everyone is. and i myself will be leaving here in around 7months, but i can't think about that yet. time can't exist to me yet. it'll ruin me if it exists too soon. i like it here anyway.

...and that's danny. i like him... not like that.

Profile #4
This is Brooke, she's from australia and she arrived just the other day. she's the one that didn't want to eat the squid head because it was gross, so she ate another part of the squid that she didn't know what it was. and then we told her that what she ate was actually the squid head. she was in china last year. her boyfriend is working in england. she calls cotton candy fairy floss. she's always cold because she's from a warm part of a australia. and usually a girl that's cold is good for guys such as myself, but i don't want to hit on her. she thought geese standing on the frozen water was neat.

i was supposed to post this blip about brooke yesterday, but i got busy, and i didn't have time. ...that sounds kinda funny saying 'i got busy'. right, so i would ask brooke some other fun things about her, but she's no longer in my group(therefore, she's not in the same room). apparently my group is too flooded with awesomeness, and more awesomeness found in brooke would just be overwhelming. that's why she had to move.

so i guess i'll make up the rest about brooke. brooke once shot a missile launcher, and blew up a bridge. it was awesome. she was sick in the hospital when she was 6, and she went temporarily blind. that experience taught her to value bats. she has a pet dingo back home.

and that's brooke.

ha, i fail terribly at taking pictures. there's something about the imposition of it that makes me uncomfortable. maybe that's why i prefer abstract images, or maybe myself as the subject. actually, no, i'm sure i prefer myself as the subject because i'm ego driven... ok not really. anyway, in remedy of my anti-tourist approach to korea, i will force myself to become a photographer by creating photography days. these will be theme days that need to be fulfilled much to the same capacity as i fulfilled the scavenger hunt. there's something about a challenge that stirs one's heart.

so far my themes are as such:
-bad grammar(believe me, this is funnier than you think, take a look at www.engrish.com)
-corporate art (i don't know if it's all of korea, or just my area, but there is A LOT of this stuff. and despite the negative connotation that some may derive from the title 'corporate art', i think it's alright)
-cartoons(cartoons are everywhere, and used for everything. i even saw some cartoons used for the police station)
-food(yum. lots of gross fish. last night this girl brooke had pasta with seafood. there was squid in it and she made sure not to eat the one part she thought was the head but she ate another part. shortly thereafter, we told her what she just ate was the head, so she just ate the whole thing. i guess her aversion wasn't that strong)
-architecture(mostly typical buildings, but i'll find something)

that's what i have for now. i think i need more ideas. i just bought a calendar, so i'll mark those picture taking adventures on it, and then i'll add more later.

oh, by the way. new years was good. i went to three bars. the last of which i ended up in because of a fit of indecision and self-preservation. maybe self-preservation is too strong of a phrase. i'm pretty sure i wouldn't have died if i had gone to the other option. i just would have gotten home at 4am, and i was already tired. so i watched new years on a big screen in a bar. seoul city hall had music and junk. there was a band called 'in soon i'. i think they're big or something, but so far i haven't been able to download any korean music. that's ok, i like my indie scene anyway.